Do you need reparenting?

Once you become trauma-informed and understand your parents, while well-meaning, were fighting their own battles, you start seeing the need for reparenting everywhere.

On knowing what you want

Trauma can teach us that making decisions is dangerous. When the possible consequences are life-changing, how do we move?

How movement can heal your trauma

In the mind-body school of trauma, movement is a staple to recovery. Often we associate bodily sensations with danger, so we disassociate. But gentle movement therapy can help!

One self-imposed crisis after another

My friend looks relieved as he recounts his drama-filled days.”I used to say to my wife ‘we cannot have things too nice because they always go wrong’.I do not think like that anymore. My days are quiet now, peaceful.”I too identify with his words. Did I love the drama, or did the drama love me?…

Conquering my void inside with awe-inspiring confessions

‘How to deal with the void inside/ the need to run away’.My friend crumbled up the note I wrote for our topic meeting today. I held my breath.The room was small today, the bad weather keeping away everyone but the regulars.I didn’t mind, I needed to hear from people who had been travelling this road…

How to never practise self-abandonment again

Children of dysfunctional homes often end up repeating the same relationship patterns they learned early on, first of all with themselves. This is what feels safe and known; our nervous system and brain is still stuck in fight-or-flight mode and cannot distinguish toxic patterns from healthy ones. We practise self-abandonment before others do.Did you have…

Depression taught me to live again

Last summer, my 2-year depression came to a head. I took myself to A&E and refused to leave, knowing that if I did, I would be all out of options with my suicidal depression. Previously, therapists had sent me away, stating that my problems were above their pay grade. Yoga had been helpful to the…

Gratitude is an action – or how to do a gratitude journal properly

A friend of mine recently shared in my fellowship her discovery: gratitude is an action, not a feeling. Denominating it as a mere emotion degrades gratitude, and it changed the way I write out my daily (well, weekly) gratitude journal. No longer is it enough to be grateful for my home, my friends, and my…

Emotional sobriety – the holy grail of any recovery

In my own journey of processing childhood trauma and addiction I’ve come across the term ’emotional sobriety’ multiple times, and its poetry struck me. In all the meetings I’ve been to recently, I have not met a single addict with a happy upbringing. So after all, being sober isn’t enough anymore, now I’ve got to…

How to stop outsourcing your wellbeing

At the fragile 26 year mark of my life, I finally found what adulthood truly means to me (whether I want it to or not): Stop outsourcing your personal responsibilities and wellbeing That means my career is no longer my employer’s job, my health no longer my GP’s and my happiness no longer my friend’s.…

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