Addiction and dating apps: the fast and intense

The entire single population of my city has flocked to dating apps to pass their boredom.
I doubt there has ever been this much traffic and this many people keen to talk.
With the increase of supply and demand, I too have started participating again.
Is this a bit of harmless fun, or should we be careful in giving our heart’s attention away?

“The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long.” – Lao Tzu

As a survivor of childhood trauma, intimacy is a tricky subject for me.
Not only do I have fast crushes and faster heartbreaks, I also both crave and reject intimacy.
I often treat my love life as another form of addiction – validation and approval from others, what’s there not to like?
Dating apps with their playful interface and immediate results are impersonal enough for me to project whatever hopes I have to on whoever presents themselves.
This is only as dangerous as I am scared of my own feelings that are conjured!

We addicts crave the intense.
We do not have patience to build a relationship slowly, and expect results immediately.”
– a friend who is wiser than me

While probably generalising an traumatised addict’s experience to the whole world, I do feel like dating apps have their own pitfalls.
The dopamine rush, the adrenaline of the unknown, the endorphins of the match:
But when things don’t work out, I equate sadness with having done something wrong.
Trauma survivors often have difficulty with abandonment and rejection, and I am no exception.
Before I know it, I have high expectations and hopes for people I barely know.
And ignore what I’ve learned from the person I know best (hint it’s me).

“Love is not blind but it leads to blindness.” – Auliq Ice

So what’s the morale of the story? I’m not quite sure.
When let down, I keep on swiping more instead of less.
I still expect someone else to come in and solve my abandonment issues.
Far from unique, I realise that these are frivolous problems.
But a sad heart deserves to be written about!

7 Comments Add yours

  1. Great post you have here!

    Btw, you are nominated for the Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award. Please visit this post for the rules.


    1. Thank you so much!


      1. You’re welcome. Happy Blogging!


  2. The starting quote, 😀😀


    1. Its a good one isnt it! Thanks for your comment!


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