As much as I am obsessed with trauma work, I’m aware that it’s a trendy hot topic right now.
Trauma is everywhere, and its label gives a welcome pathway to understanding our symptoms.
But why are we all so obsessed with healing our trauma, and do we need to?
Can we ever truly heal in the first place?
“Traumatized people chronically feel
unsafe inside their bodies. (…)
They learn to hide from their selves.”
– Bessel van der Kolk
Healing past trauma often if not always involves facing our pain, and can prove painful.
Some might prefer to run from this, hiding in addiction, denial or other coping mechanisms.
But the effects of untreated suffering will always bleed out.
And the longer we wait, the more our feelings will have festered.
So either we work the trauma, or the trauma will work us.
“Recovery does not constitute a complete absence of thoughts or feelings associated with the traumatic event, but rather it is the ability to place the event in proper perspective and successfully rise above the event so that it is no longer in control of your emotions or your life. “
– Dr. Susan Spicer
Furthermore, it’s worth talking about the impact our trauma has on the people around us.
Often, abusers use the pain that was inflicted on them as a reason for the suffering they’ve inflicted on others.
Trauma can account for a litany of symptoms that affects our relationships, especially on dependents such as children. This could be a short emotional fuse, anger management problems or lack of patience.
So, do we owe the people in our lives to address our trauma?
“It takes 9 times longer to heal pain than inflict it.”
– my therapist to a very stunned me
The sooner we start, the better a chance we stand.
That being said, it’s never too late to reap the fruits of addressing our trauma.
However, it’s important to be realistic. It takes time and patience to work on our core beliefs.
Personally, I believe even just acknowledging that you have trauma to heal is the first step towards healing.
Apprehension and refusal to address our pain are inevitable stumbling blocks!
Have you ever asked yourself if trauma work is worth it?