Practical tips to lighten your heart off anger

When wrong has been done to us, strangely we have a tendency to hold on to anger.
It can feel like taking back power, but we are hurting ourselves more than our abusers did.
As counterintuitive as it might feel, forgiveness will heal us first and foremost.
Tricky to conjure it up though! In the meantime, here are some tips to let go off anger:

  • Pray for the success and health of the person who wronged you

Not in a religious way, don’t worry! Just actively send good vibes to the person you’d likely wish harm to.
It’s impossible to wish someone well and at the same time harbour bad feelings for them.
Objectively, it might not do anything, but it will lighten your heart off anger.

  • Write a letter to rant – and never send it off!

Whenever I am desperate to reply but know I would later regret my words, I write a long letter.
I let it all out, save it, and sleep on it. Then (if I do have to reply), I often start from scratch and use kinder words as all the anger has already left my system. I am no longer replying as an emotional reaction but with a goal in mind, be it to convey a message or build a bridge!

  • Be completely honest with yourself

Often we talk ourselves into a situation where, out of defensiveness, we become convinced we haven’t done anything wrong. Be it little white lies, leaving out information or neglecting the impact we can have on others. I found that my anger can be disproportionate when I’m trying hard to forget my own role in the situation.
Accepting responsibility can lessen our emotions.

  • Exercise, destroy, vent

Anger is a visceral emotion, it demands to be expressed. If we do not give this pent up energy a release, it will find its own! Cardio is always a safe bet, so is calling a friend. I have an old book that I like to tear pages out of and crunch up when I am particularly frustrated. Anything that involves your body and gets you out of your mind will do the trick!

It’s easy to push away negative emotions such as anger, but you will be doing yourself a disservice.
I’m a big fan of anger and the healing powers and warnings it brings along.
How do you handle anger? Do you run from it or sit in it?

8 thoughts on “Practical tips to lighten your heart off anger

Add yours

  1. Buddhists do say if we vent we intensify the anger.. I wonder what your take on this is.. I get a sense we have to recognise it and why it is there and then not hold on or drive drive drive it on if that makes sense.. I love the AA that often it may be someone who isn’t well making us angry.. but if we don’t learn what to do it seems we miss the message in our anger..


    1. That’s a great point! It’s important that we vent the right way: if we are just looking to dump negative energy on others and villainfy the other person, then we intensify the anger. If we describe our feelings and thoughts so they don’t fester inside of us, that can be helpful, as long as we don’t fall into internalised patterns of blaming others! Anger is created inside of us and nobody is responsible for it but us. Thanks for your comment x


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