When wrong has been done to us, strangely we have a tendency to hold on to anger.
It can feel like taking back power, but we are hurting ourselves more than our abusers did.
As counterintuitive as it might feel, forgiveness will heal us first and foremost.
Tricky to conjure it up though! In the meantime, here are some tips to let go off anger:
- Pray for the success and health of the person who wronged you
Not in a religious way, don’t worry! Just actively send good vibes to the person you’d likely wish harm to.
It’s impossible to wish someone well and at the same time harbour bad feelings for them.
Objectively, it might not do anything, but it will lighten your heart off anger.
- Write a letter to rant – and never send it off!
Whenever I am desperate to reply but know I would later regret my words, I write a long letter.
I let it all out, save it, and sleep on it. Then (if I do have to reply), I often start from scratch and use kinder words as all the anger has already left my system. I am no longer replying as an emotional reaction but with a goal in mind, be it to convey a message or build a bridge!
- Be completely honest with yourself
Often we talk ourselves into a situation where, out of defensiveness, we become convinced we haven’t done anything wrong. Be it little white lies, leaving out information or neglecting the impact we can have on others. I found that my anger can be disproportionate when I’m trying hard to forget my own role in the situation.
Accepting responsibility can lessen our emotions.
- Exercise, destroy, vent
Anger is a visceral emotion, it demands to be expressed. If we do not give this pent up energy a release, it will find its own! Cardio is always a safe bet, so is calling a friend. I have an old book that I like to tear pages out of and crunch up when I am particularly frustrated. Anything that involves your body and gets you out of your mind will do the trick!
It’s easy to push away negative emotions such as anger, but you will be doing yourself a disservice.
I’m a big fan of anger and the healing powers and warnings it brings along.
How do you handle anger? Do you run from it or sit in it?