Feeling lonely surrounded by friends

It’s a strange time to start feeling lonely.
Lockdown restrictions are easing here in the UK, and now more than ever am I reconnecting with friends face-to-face. And yet, my heart aches for connection and validation.
We all know that we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, but how do we get out of it?

My head knows I am loved,
but my heart disagrees.

Loneliness has affected all of us in the past, and I’ve written about it before.
Once to highlight how we can strengthen relationship muscles, and once about feeling like we give more than we receive in friendships and hence feel lonely.
This time around I can’t deny that I have honest and vulnerable friendships, and still I cannot help but imagining that they are excluding me and don’t want me there.

My trauma always seeps back in
when I’m trying to appear unblemished.

A lot of brain power is spent on trying to appear like a “normal” person to others.
So much so that my true self is hiding for fear of being rejected, and thus I feel lonely.
At this point it’s not even a conscious decision anymore.
Then again, it’s rare for this internalised wall to fall away, and that’s when I know that I feel truly safe with my friends.

“A lonely day is God’s way of saying
that he wants to spend some quality time with you.”

– Criss Jami

One doesn’t need to be religious to spend time with God.
For some, it can be a walk in nature that resets them.
I for my part took myself to my first physical AA meeting in months.
Sitting as part of my tribe, saying the serenity prayer in unison, made me feel at home again.

What do you do when you feel lonely?
Let’s share our tips and feel connected online!

2 thoughts on “Feeling lonely surrounded by friends

Add yours

  1. It’s hard to feel safe when we’ve been traumatized or badly mistreated by others. The resistance against vulnerability is a form of self-compassion and self-care. It is our psyche’s way of showing us it cares, even although its fierce protectiveness can get in the way as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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