Delay gratification, avoid suffering

You do not procrastinate because you’re lazy.
You procrastinate because faced with an uncomfortable choice (facing your problem) and an attractive one (distraction), you choose the easier one. And don’t we all!
I can spend ages trying to outsmart my dilemmas instead of just tackling them.
How do we stop ignoring, and instead find beauty in our problems?

‘Those things that hurt, instruct.’
– Benjamin Franklin

Life without problems would be like a meal without seasoning: bland.
It is by growing beyond, gathering wisdom and getting braver that life becomes meaningful.
Yes, facing issues such as guilt, anger, fear or loneliness can be painful.
But the longer we let them fester inside of us, the more we will suffer.
Only because we run away from these feelings do we see them as problems in the first place;
and the more we have this attitude, the more “problems” we will end up having.

When we teach ourselves discipline,
we are teaching ourselves how to suffer
and also how to grow.’ – M. Scott Peck

If suffering is inevitable, knowing how to suffer right is everything.
It is necessary for good mental health as well as achieving our goals.
According to Peck, there are four necessary techniques to process pain:
Today we will talk about the first one, delaying gratification.
(Check back soon for the rest of them!)

Once we value ourselves,
we take care of what we love.
‘Self-discipline is self-care.’

Most learn as children to control their impulsiveness, be it from parenting or school.
When they don’t however, it is often because they had ‘do as I say, not as I do’ parents.
(I know, I do like blaming everything on parenting, but I’m quoting a psychologist here!)
We need to start associating discipline with love, dignity and time.
Often we want to rush the path to healing (and gratification), but we need to trust.
Trust that we are worth it and trust that we can rest and play at an appropriate time.

I used to think I was ditzy, unable to problem-solve.
Now I know I just gave up before I even started.

How often do you say ‘I cannot do this, it is beyond me!’
By giving up on ‘hassles’, we harm our self-confidence and our perseverance.
Problems do not go away, and outsourcing them can lead to even more.
I used to think I was bad at video games, the truth is I would just ragequit immediately.
If there was no immediate gratification and reward, it wasn’t worth my time.
And with time, my fuse would blow even quicker, making me worse at more things.
Sit down and take the time to learn what needs to be confronted, and you might solve even more problems than you might think!

This blog post was inspired by The Road Less Travelled, a book I’m reading by M. Scott Peck.
If you enjoyed it, you should check out another post about one of its chapters:
Have you grown into independence?

Check out part 2 of the series here!

6 thoughts on “Delay gratification, avoid suffering

  1. I adore that book and Mr. Peck’s perspective on love especially. To enhance another in all ways (I’m paraphrasing) There’s always a lesson in each interaction. I like to slow down, look to my part in it and see what God is teaching me. Blessings my friend 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s