How to get your doctor to HEAR your C-PTSD diagnosis

So after years of sitting with trauma, you have finally come to terms that your body and mind have been shaken by a period of uncertainty and fear.
You are finally brave enough to seek help and put words to your years of confusion – only for your doctor to dismiss you. Maybe you haven’t even been able to mention it, scared that you won’t be listened to.
Been there. So how did I go about getting my Complex PTSD diagnosis, and the help I needed to heal?

“Many abandoned children enter adulthood feeling that the world is a dangerous place where they are ill-equipped to defend themselves”
― Pete Walker

No matter what led you to C-PTSD, be it childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, illness, or other causes, your feelings are valid. The anxiety, the chronic pains, the nightmares, they are all real. You do not need a physician to believe you for this to be true.
Still, a diagnosis will help to put a name to your experience (a self-diagnosis is just as valid!) and access help, such as EMDR or talk therapy.
Here’s a handy cheat sheet I send all my friends when they approach their doctor:

1. Do your research
   Assume your doctor doesn’t know anything about C-PTSD (because often, they don’t). Also, assume that your doctor is on your side.
   Make it easier for both of you by coming up with a list of reputable sources (the NHS website for example) and a list of symptoms that you have exhibited.
   Have examples and timeframes ready (for example for anxiety, when has it come up in the last 2 weeks? What were you doing/eating/etc?).
   Be specific, be thorough, but understand that the physician might want to focus on one symptom at a time or won’t be able to note them all down.
   Be your own advocate – you know these symptoms are all linked and have shown up for a while now. So make sure the doctor does too!
   
2. Your doctor is your friend
   It can be easy to feel dismissed when your physician is simply following their training – they can’t help that trauma is not studied well in their schooling!
   When your C-PTSD is triggered, it’s easy to forget what you prepared or the outcome you need. Can a friend come with you, or can you bring a weighted blanket, a fidget toy, or anything that reassures you that no matter how the doctor reacts, you’ll be fine?
   Try to listen to your physician. If they want to rule out another condition first, or they want you to come back another time, it doesn’t mean that they don’t believe you. It means they are on board to find out what is happening with you. Sometimes the road to recovery is long, but all the more fulfilling.
   
3. Do not show up in crisis mode
   If you are in active crisis, for example, if you have suicidal thoughts or paranoia, your doctor will not help you get a diagnosis. They will refer you to an emergency team to help you.
   Once you are stable, make sure to convey this in your presentation.
   It’s unfair how you show up is impacting your words, but it’s true.
   For anything mental health-related, the physician will be checking if your clothes are clean, you have recently showered, whether your hair is brushed – simply because these indicators are regarded as self-care, meaning you are not in crisis mode. Some people dress up as if they are going to a job interview, and I know that it helped me be heard much more too.
   
4. Know your rights
   If your physician refuses to investigate your issues further, ask them to note this in your records with a quoted reason for doing so.
   Be persistent. Often physicians ask you to come back in a few weeks to see if the symptoms persist. Sometimes they may blame preexisting conditions, weight, drug use, etc – keep coming back, ask for a different doctor, bring proof of your symptoms or a friend who can attest to them. You deserve to be heard!

“Time does not heal wounds without acknowledgement of what has happened. You need to clarify your feelings and express them in a way that defines in detail what you have lost and how much you care about what you have lost”
– Peter Leech & Zeva Singer

Getting a diagnosis is helpful, but you don’t need one.
You might not even need these tips, and your physician will immediately diagnose you – still, if you do not feel comfortable speaking to others about your trauma, you do not have to.
Keep reading up on resources available, and listen to your body on what feels right. Nobody knows what it is like to be in your body (including your doctor!) but you.
Believe in yourself, even if you feel like others don’t.
It’s the surest path to recovery, and I promise you, it is so worth it!