Last week I wrote about holding two conflicting thoughts at once:
Having a bad day and acknowledging this, but still appreciating the good.
Today I want to talk about examining “negative” beliefs up close until we find their weak spots.
I might think I hate my body and appearance, but is there nothing I like about myself?
Our job might be horrible, but is there no aspect I appreciate?
Some hate frosting but love doughy cake.
They would still buy the cupcake,
even if there are parts they dislike.
The problem with positive affirmations and manifestation mantras are that they are often not rooted in truth.
I cannot go from hating something to loving it unconditionally.
We heal from negative beliefs little by little, by attaching undeniable truth to it.
By avoiding black and white thinking, we see nuances.
We rarely dislike the thing itself.
It’s people’s reactions to it, our behaviour surrounding it
but the object of our feelings is innocent.
I might “hate” my hips because of my socialised belief that they should be smaller.
At the same time, I appreciate their functionality in offering cushioning, I can tolerate and accept their size on the day to day, and I don’t romanticise them needlessly just for the sake of it.
I’ve got big hips, and that’s ok. Some days I dislike them, some days I like them.
But I do not get my sense of self-worth and validation from inanimate objects like my hips.
We do not need to love everything always.
At the same time, we shouldn’t treat our bodies as apologies.
Do you have any conflicting beliefs or struggle to change your thinking?
It’s very “in” to preach radical self-love, but is this actually realistic and helpful or just a fad?
Is the answer actually radical self-acceptance?