Today, I celebrated by cancelling all my plans and sleeping for hours.
Sometimes, this is what depression looks like. Sometimes, it’s self-care.
My mental health has done a complete 180 since quitting a career I wasn’t happy in, quitting friendships that didn’t fulfill me, and quitting drugs that I was addicted to.
But self-care isn’t just cancelling plans and face masks!
I value how busy I am,
but it’s just as important how I unwind alone.
Ever since I was little, I had more hobbies than was wise.
During COVID when I became unemployed and stuck at home, I picked up even more.
Now that university has started, I find myself drowning in responsibilities.
Self-care is putting on my big girl boots and bowing out of some volunteering roles.
Once I do one role, I end up taking on more and more just because people ask.
People-pleasing is a toxic trait and quite exhausting at that!
My CPTSD flashbacks used to last weeks.
Now I get a day, every other month.
My mental health used to take up my entire life.
Between anxiety, depression, ADHD and CPTSD, there wasn’t much of me left that was unaffected.
In my case, the symptoms were exasperated because I did not take control of my life.
I felt powerless and deeply unhappy.
All it took was one small step, one decision that made me unpopular but happy.
I was done with enduring unnecessary stress and unhealthy relationships!
Nobody worries as much about me as I do.
So chill out.
I used to worry sooo much about what others thought of me.
How I came across, if I seemed popular or busy enough, pretty and desirable.
Whether I was talking too much in a conversation, too little, if I was too animated or shy.
No matter how I acted, it was worthy of overanalysing and disappointment.
There was no pleasing myself!
Eventually I realised that my thinking was the problem: I was addicted to worrying.
I felt in control and deep self-pity, instead of practising self-love.
Self-care is different for everyone.
But it’s always rooted in love.
My self-care routine involves crafting, drawing, a lengthy skincare routine and reading.
I also enjoy batch cooking and cleaning to feel at home in my space to relax.
How do you make sure you’re taking care of your mental health?