How I’ve lost all of my friends in a year and couldn’t be happier

The thing about changing is that the people around it might not like it.
Not only did I change careers, became spiritual and went sober, I also finally learned boundaries!
I stopped apologising so much and going along with what others decided for me.
It would be unfair to expect my friends to automatically like this new person!
With school and the workplace, we get used to hanging out with whoever we mesh with best from this pre-selected group of like-minded peers.
They are often friendships of ease, and not of the heart.

I was terrified of being in the “wrong“,
who was I to say who “deserved” to be my friend?

For as long as I can remember, my friends were whoever wanted to hang out with me.
If they laughed at my jokes, if I admired their confidence; that was enough to be my friend.
I especially liked bossy people so the burden of choosing was taken from me!
Unless something monumental happened, I did not feel justified in ending a friendship.

I don’t like every single person,
so how can I expect everyone to like me?

So when I turned from a suicidal guilt-ridden girl into a confident happy woman, things changed.
It was a year ago that I wrote about how confusing friendship is.
Then, I thought perfectionism was too blame.
The truth is, sometimes people are meant for each other for a certain time. And then they’re not.
With most of my friends, we just grew apart. It helps nobody to be bitter about it.

And when one door closes

They say you are comprised of the energy of the 5 people you spent the most time with.
Once my old friends naturally fell away, I had time for new ones!
I started some new hobbies, and without trying to, gradually found new homies.
From time to time I feel guilty, as if I was replacing my old friends.
But I know that as long as I carry no resentments, and have apologised for any wrongdoings, my conscience is clear. And my calendar full!

How great to look forward to seeing friends,
to not want them to leave, to be able to accept help when needed!

5 thoughts on “How I’ve lost all of my friends in a year and couldn’t be happier

Add yours

    1. I feel you, I am guilty of clinging on and getting jealous myself in friendships. Healing takes time, and awareness is the first step. Thanks for your comment!


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