If you’re reading this, I assume you are into self-growth, which means you will definitely have heard of Brene Brown. A shame and guilt expert, she manages to pinpoint society’s Achilles heel so precisely that she is quasi-synonymous with healing.
As a recovering people pleaser, I am no stranger to discomfort.
Way too often I feel too bad to say no, to cancel plans, or to disappoint someone, and later regret it. But why is that?
Discomfort is now, resentment is later.
We’re choosing logic over feeling the sensations in our bodies now.
Not only am I pushing the problem further down the line when I don’t stand by my gut.
I am also refusing to be in the present moment with whatever is arising.
Anger or fear is arising, and instead of sitting with it I am running away to thinking: “I will be fine, I can figure something out later.”
Ironically, discomfort only lasts a moment, while resentment can linger for years.
“But I just end up agreeing in the moment before I realise what I’ve done!”
This is a trap.
We know what we have to do, to follow our instincts, have boundaries, etc, it’s the actual doing it when we’re put on the spot that’s hard.
You might be tempted to beat yourself up over it, or to come up with coping mechanisms for what to do next time someone asks for your help.
Again, you are not sitting in the present discomfort. Let it wash over you.
Your power is not in the future or the past, it is in the now.
How does your discomfort feel?
Now that you truly see it, can you see it for what it is: its strengths and shortcomings?
Can you be grateful that it brought you back to the present?
I know it feels wrong and unsafe.
But this is where the magic happens.
The life you want to leave where you decide who you spend time with, what thoughts you linger on or who has power over your heart – these are all within your grasp.
The question is whether you have built resilience to discomfort to go after it, or whether you’re willing to sit with the pain of wishful thinking instead.
Reparent Your Soul 
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