Trauma comes and goes in waves, ever reminding us of remains unhealed. Recently, this has been in the linking of similar pains.
I am terrified of using my trauma as an excuse for my current behaviour. How acknowledgment of insecurities equates to making excuses in my head, I don't know!
Trauma can feel very debilitating, removing agency and control from us. So when the waiting on feeling better is out of our hands too, we might just lose it a little.
Last night I had a scary experience with my rat Brain. Thankfully everything was fine in the morning, but I couldn't help feeling: Shouldn't I be happier?
I have had two kinds of recurring nightmares since I was a child, one of them being that a pet of mine dies through my fault. I would take my cats on a boat ride and they would jump out and drown. My guinea pigs would run away into the road, my bird accidentally poisoned,... Continue Reading →