I keep coming across posts asking whether it’s okay to cut off a friendship, break up or limit communication.
It worries me how much we rely on getting external validation to follow our heart.
I am by no means an exception, and only notice these as I feel the same way.
Terrified of being seen as rude or irrational, it’s calming to know that we got the approval of strangers on the Internet.
However, is there a way we can start trusting our intuition by ourself?
“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.”
If we are asking, we probably already know what we want to hear.
It’s guilt or fear of future regret that’s holding us back.
These other feelings with cloud our inner knowing that has our best self-interest at heart.
If we are miserable, we are doing nobody a service by staying in a situation.
If it’s impossible to remain ourselves and honest, we need to remove ourselves from the situation.
Of course, it’s more complicated if there are children involved, but they will watch and learn to stay in unhappy situations.
“If you trust yourself, no one will ever betray you.”
– Meir Ezra
I used to be the worst offender for double checking my decisions with friends.
My own opinion was judged flawed by myself. I didn’t trust myself to know what I wanted.
Conveniently, if I ever regretted a decision, I could then blame others for their counsel!
By carrying my issues to others, I was undermining myself to all parties involved.
My friends were less likely to respect me for lack of backbone too.
By making the right decisions (or the wrong ones, and learning from them!) independently,
I earned my own trust.
“You will do foolish things,
but do them with enthusiasm.”
– Elizabeth Gilbert
The truth is, nobody really knows what is right. That’s because there is no right way!
It depends on who you ask, when, how you word it, … so unless you are conducting a survey with a representative sample of the world, you’re likely to get the wrong answer!
And even then you might judge your decision differently with time, so the only way to get it right, is to get it right by you, right here, right now.
If you are going to doubt every single one of your decision, you will forget to have fun!
So leave some leeway for mistakes as they are the salt of life and happily go away trusting yourself!