Why your emotional breakthrough won’t last – and what will

It’s not hard to experience a once-in-a-lifetime breakthrough.
Even without drugs, some may find it in a silent meditation retreat, in a trauma healing movement class, or backpacking alone through central Asia.
What is hard is maintaining the new normal.
It may last a few weeks or months, but inevitably we fall back into old patterns of thinking, only to ask ourselves how to can fabricate another pivotal moment of change.
So why is it that our transformation is reversible?

The foundation of our pyramid wasn’t solid enough.

Alan B. Wallace, an expert on Tibetan Buddhism, explains that unless our mind is adequately prepared, we will become distracted from our chosen path. In the context of attaining Buddhahood, he explains that we need, in order:
authentic motivation, ethics, mental stability, and insight into reality.

Without the right motivation, we will quickly become distracted. The motivation isn’t strong enough if our goal is to impress others or have fun. When things inevitably get hard, we abandon our cause. We pursue the aspects of our path that are appealing, and soon forget we had big aspirations at all.

When our ethics are not cultivated, we will quickly become blindsided. Without a value belief system, we might make enemies along the way, hurt others and betray our original vision, or end up worse than we started. Morales are not just to be nice – they have a purpose that keep our community (and us!) safe. I have seen again and again how people neglect this step, and suffer greatly for it.

Then, mental stability needs to be cultivated to maintain the breakthrough state. Whether it’s living healthier, shaking the fight or flight trauma response or building a new habit, if our mind is not trained to become more stable, we are doomed. Thoughts are only interesting at the start – soon the excitement will wear off. Yet with mental stability, we will be able to stay with the path.

Finally, insight into reality, seeing things for what they are, is built on top of all the previous building blocks. Without a true understanding of our goal, we might never realise when we’ve actually reached it. If we want the perfect body, we might not know what it actually looks or feels like – or that it doesn’t exist.

Does your breakthrough have to last?
Could you just have many small epiphanies?

If your steps towards your goal swing back and forth like a pendulum, you will end up walking the same paths over and over. Habits will have to be broken and reformed many times. Sure, moving a bit is better than not moving at all – but shouldn’t we be playing the long game?
The human brain always shoots for the stars – it’s nobody’s New Year’s resolution to run 2k. Yet, we have to be patient and cultivate all the preliminary qualities to fully transform ourselves. Otherwise, the change will be short-lived.