Our brain is it’s own echo chamber: we spend all day talking to ourselves about ourselves.
We only listen to what we unconsciously already decided to agree with. It takes a lot of work to change our internal monologue, and moving in familiar narratives is more comfortable than taking risks. Do we know who we are, and what do we think of it?
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” George Santanaya
Think of it like this: If we judge liars, it will be all the harder to admit we’re liars ourselves.
I used to despise people who had no backbone, friends who refused to pick sides. All this time being infuriated over others only masked my own inability to stand up for myself. They hit a sore spot, and I unconsciously surrounded myself with people I could criticise so I wouldn’t have to face my own character defects.
“The mind is everything.
What you think you become.“
Some call it Higher Power, or destiny, or positive affirmations. Fact is, we create our own world.
You could be in paradise, but still convince yourself that the grass is not green enough. If I believe myself unsuccessful in my career, I will create situations that confirm my beliefs, whether it benefits me or not. The brain doesn’t listen to what we want, but to what we think.
“The mind is not a vessel to be filled,
but a fire to be kindled.” Plutarch
So how to we change our life?
First we need to be aware of our thoughts (meditation),
then we filter in positive ones that root for us (gratitude journals and prayers),
and finally we decide to find the lesson in everything that infuriates us.
By refusing to take my ego’s side, I’m refusing to give up and in to complaining. If every negative thing is there to teach me something, then it is up to me only to get me out of it.
And how empowering this has proven to be!