“A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.” – Dave Barry
I am a stubborn gal. Blame it on me being a taurus, but I hold grudges. Treat me badly and show the slightest tint of remorse, and we’re good. But refuse to acknowledge my pain, and we’re pretty much done.
I’m not blind though. I see how easily this can dip into resentment and bitterness.
I do not intend to carry ghost around with me for the rest of my life.
High personal demands will inevitably seep through to my expectations of other people. But the fact is that the quota for mindfucks in my life has already been filled by yours truly.
“I bully myself ’cause I make me do what I put my mind to” – Eminem (Rap God)
I have had to abandon the notion of all friends along with all enemies to find validation within. Nobody owes me anything because we are “friends”, friendship is a living relationship that exists in acts, and I intend to be friends with everyone who means no harm.
Knowing and Understanding that everyone is worthy of love are two different things.
Valuing compassion above all since discovering buddhism, I have rejected the notion that there are right and wrong, good or evil people. Quickly though, I struggled with being a doormat. But this summer I realised that although all people are worthy of my love, not all are worthy of my time. Life is short, and it must be cherished.
Where to draw the line then?
I am fine with being insulted/disrespected when it serves a higher purpose, like a project I’m passionate about.
However, when my boundaries are violated because of someone else’s emotional reaction, eg hurtful words, I expect an apology. This doesn’t include criticism and feedback, so active introspection is needed.
I will not ask for one, I won’t demand one, but I also won’t allow myself to spend time with you again. This body is precious, and I won’t let it listen to your words in the short time I have with it.
I was just about to post this and realised that I completely contradicted the point I was trying to make in the title. Teaches me lol.