That’s it, I’m doing it!

The thing about quitting one addiction is how obvious all others become.
Now I know how much better life is without the one thing that made it worth living, I’m out of excuses.
When I quit alcohol and drugs 9 months ago, I subsidised them with cigarettes, screen time and sugar. Cigarettes I gave up 2 months after, and I’m making progress with my screen time.
Now it’s sugar’s down to go down!

Wanting to lose weight is all nice and good,
but I’ve made this decision a million times before.

In order to quit drugs and not just fantasise about doing so, it took a significant mental change.
Some call it a spiritual awakening, a re-shifting of priorities.
An emotional attachment to food an an undiagnosed eating disorders where I starve myself and then binge to the point of not being able to walk does not go away when we just want it to.
I knew that sheer willpower was not going to get me there, and it didn’t.
So when a month ago I read an Ask Me Anything on Reddit about a living kidney donor, I was intrigued. I had thought about this years ago but used to be terrified of needles.

If I couldn’t lose this weight for my own health,
could I do it for someone else?

Sure, I realise how extreme this is.
I’m not only pursuing organ donation because I want to lose weight.
I felt strangely drawn to the process, and devoured all recommended literature and videos about it. I thought about how many people die a year, and how lucky I was to have a healthy body.
So I started talking to the right people who gave me a further push:
My weight was too high to start the process.
Usually you need a BMI of maximum 30 to donate an organ, but they’ve lowered the needed BMI during COVID-19 to avoid complications.
This means I would need to loose 12kg.

The key is not to give myself a choice,
not to indulge fantasies,
and to celebrate my life decisions.

It took me many tries to quit smoking, and I learned many lessons during this time:
I learned that longingly wishing to have a drag did more harm than good. It’s best to distract and have a proven replacement at hand when cravings hit.
It’s so much better on the other side. At the time it seems cruel to give it up, but once we’re through withdrawals and have adjusted to our new life we can see how much better we’re doing.
Soon I will forget that my life used to be different. Now all I know is eating chocolate and crisps every day with weekly takeaways. Once enough time passes, memories of binging will disappear and healthy living will become the norm.

While I may not even be suitable to be a donor,
trying to find out has become a great motivation to kick this addiction.

Is there an addiction that you’re trying to lose?
I’m always intrigued how external epiphanies can give us the push to do stuff, like the death of a loved one due to lung cancer helping us to stop smoking. Why can’t we do this for ourselves?
What do you think?


4 thoughts on “That’s it, I’m doing it!

  1. I love to think about adding in more good to all areas of my life. The focus stays on positive stuff and gets it away from the white knocking response to all I’m doing wrong! Hang in there xoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Though I have conquered my smoke addiction but still there are handful of vices that are the source of self created misery….. but I am confident that Ill over come them too..

    “Nothing has power over us , unless we ourselves allow it to”

    Liked by 1 person

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