The material search for intimacy

How do you create intimacy: does it come naturally to you, do you have to make time for it or do you fear it? And can you find it within yourself?

They don’t really hate YOU!

It’s strange how one person’s dislike for us can invade our mind. We can even become obsessed with the supposed hate we feel from someone else.

Willing to be a bad friend – perfectionism in friendship

Like marriage, friendship cannot survive long term if one doesn’t at least give the semblance to care. When one’s feelings are hurt, someone needs to do the work to overcome it. When it is always the same person, how could a human being stop themselves from resenting them? Life is too short to force connections…

Moral consistency in a burning world

After watching Freeman Dyson speak about his time with the Royal Air force during World War II in A Glorious Accident, I got to thinking about the notion of criminality. Ego’s, which are often blamed for crimes, start as inherently healthy. Egos become in- or deflated to cope with trauma, and hence are a defence…

how to make old friends and lose new ones

Since i quit the corporate life last year, I’ve had to really face my definition of friendship. Many friends are made out of convenience, similar interests or the wider friend group. I thought I had realised that friendships, like any other relationship, needs active work. But once I completely changed what I wanted in life,…