It's like my soul has these gorgeous church windows, but I can't see the colours. By being introspective about my resentments, I'm wiping them one by one.
Our flaws are superpowers yet not controlled
The Ultimate Secret to Leaving Your Abusers
I spend a long time believing that pity was love.
Parenting problems? How to heal intergenerational trauma
Oh the irony of parents blaming their children for their outbursts!
Fight your instincts and love your abusers!
Yarris, wrongfully convicted of murder for 22 years, refused to wish ill on his abusers. I would have become like them, he said.
There’s nothing more frustrating than trying to relax
I thrive in chaos. It has been a childhood companion to me, always waiting around the corner.
I’m so terrified of being a bad mother, I’d rather not be a mum at all sometimes
I was watching a mother-daughter duo on the tube today, how carefully the mum would adjust her daughter's woollen hat, and started welling up with tears. She was clutching her little one's hand tightly even sat down, as if she was terrified of loosing her amid the rush hour madness. I sympathised, thinking "if I... Continue Reading →
How to never practise self-abandonment again
Children of dysfunctional homes often end up repeating the same relationship patterns they learned early on, first of all with themselves. This is what feels safe and known; our nervous system and brain is still stuck in fight-or-flight mode and cannot distinguish toxic patterns from healthy ones. We practise self-abandonment before others do.Did you have... Continue Reading →
Nobody abused me more than I ever did (or how I became unstuck from my trauma)
In my never ending journey to heal childhood abuse, I've had to face a painful fact: I am the only one keeping my trauma alive. Now that I am an adult, nobody but me is responsible for how I feel and how I choose to live my life. Of course, most days, I don't really... Continue Reading →
Gratitude is an action – or how to do a gratitude journal properly
A friend of mine recently shared in my fellowship her discovery: gratitude is an action, not a feeling. Denominating it as a mere emotion degrades gratitude, and it changed the way I write out my daily (well, weekly) gratitude journal. No longer is it enough to be grateful for my home, my friends, and my... Continue Reading →
Emotional sobriety – the holy grail of any recovery
In my own journey of processing childhood trauma and addiction I've come across the term 'emotional sobriety' multiple times, and its poetry struck me. In all the meetings I've been to recently, I have not met a single addict with a happy upbringing. So after all, being sober isn't enough anymore, now I've got to... Continue Reading →
Reparent Your Soul 